5 Things That Happen When You Surrender Your Pain To God

Life is full of both good and bad times. There are seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow. Sometimes it seems like there are more bad times than there are good ones. Steadily entering and passing through a revolving door of emotions. As I’m confident, most of you will agree that out of all the emotions we feel, there is nothing quite as difficult as experiencing pain and hurt.

It’s pretty easy to feel and recognize the presence of God in our daily lives when all is going smoothly, yet it can often feel impossible to feel that same way whenever we are hurting. When pain and hardship come, so do the waves of doubt and questioning as we find ourselves questioning if God even cares or is aware at all of our distressing situation. Things like prayer time and bible study, which were formerly easy to attain, now become challenging. As we find it hard to locate the motivation to draw near to God because it seems like His presence in our circumstances is MIA (missing in action). As the feeling of loneliness starts to emerge, we can easily plunge into a downward spiral of negative emotions. When left unbridled, it can produce a root of bitterness and resentment towards God.

Throughout my walk with the Lord, I, too, have gone through these same struggles. There have been occasions when I felt as though God had abandoned me in the most difficult period of my life since coming to Christ. I have spent many nights going to war in my head and heart against the very same questions, “God do you even care, do you even notice what is going on right now?” I’ve experienced how the enemy uses these moments as opportunities to plant resentment or bitterness and a lack of trust and faith in God. But more importantly, I learned that God has a lot to say and many purposes for His children when we are hurting and striving with extreme difficulty to hang on to faith and hope whilst in the midst of suffering. Sometimes God will use His silence with the intention to motivate us to seek Him more intently, for He knows we will need to for the journey ahead of us toward healing. Because pain and suffering are guaranteed, especially to the believer, for many are the sufferings of the righteous. It’s time to gain a correct perspective and a clear understanding of what can happen when you surrender your pain to God rather than burying it within yourself.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. Psalm 34: 18-19.

Take heed and be careful, do not turn to wickedness, for you have chosen this [the vice of complaining against God] rather than [learning from] affliction. Job 36:21.

1. God Will Use It To Draw You Closer To Him

There is something about adversity and hardship that gets us running to our prayer closet to God and if it wasn’t for those moments many of us would not have the level of intimacy in our relationship with God that we have. Because when things are convenient and comfortable we oftentimes neglect God. Through seasons of sorrow and suffering, we are reminded of our undeniable need for God and reminded how truly helpless and feeble we are in and of ourselves. God will use the hurt we are experiencing to bring these matters into perspective. God very much has a plan in your pain that will bring forth His intended purpose. He works out everything for the good of those who love Him, no matter how discouraging things may currently appear in your situation. By drawing closer to the Lord He will give you eyes to see it from His divine perspective.

Don’t allow the enemy, the hurt, or your own emotions to keep you from running to God. If we’re not persistent, we can easily fall into oppression and depression that actively keep us from pursuing God altogether. It should come second nature in the life of a believer to race to The Father whenever we are hurting. Whenever I struggle with this, I remind myself, who better to run to than the Living God who holds all the answers and strength I am in desperate need of? Your flesh will want you to rush to people and man’s way of coping with hurt and pain, but because of the vulnerability hurt causes to the soul, it’s important to be wary. The enemy is consistently looking for open doors and hurt can often cloud our judgment. Run to God first and foremost, asking Him what your next move should be or who you can bring your situation to.

I share this with you from a place of experience and with a desire to help those of you who are reading this, as I too have solicited God’s instructions on who I should and shouldn’t turn to during times of hardship. I dealt with these same questions while enduring some significant spiritual warfare and demonic attacks, by far the worst since coming to Christ. I first asked God if there was anyone I should or could bring this to. To my surprise, there were people in my life God had heavily urged me not to bring it to and if I didn’t check with God, I perhaps would have done exactly that. God granted me understanding during this time that He was, in fact, the only one who could help me, as this was a completely spiritually motivated manifestation of warfare and demonic attacks purposed against me and God’s calling on my life. He admonished me to follow Him ever so earnestly and He would not allow it to prevail against me, directing me to place each step in the exact place His footprints led, so I did precisely as He instructed.

There were times my flesh, my understanding and my own emotions were enticing me to go elsewhere for tangible comfort, to speak to this person or that person. It was hard to remain in that level of faith, especially when those around me viewed certain decisions and stances I made from their own ignorant presumptions. These onlookers, however, did not perceive what was taking place, nor that I was heeding God’s instruction. I wanted so badly to vindicate myself with the truth, but The Holy Spirit said very clearly “Be Still My Child”.

This is just a minor example of how we don’t always see beyond the surface level of our situations, which is why I added this personal experience to this section. It is so incredibly important to bring everything to God because we don’t know or understand what’s going on beneath what we can see or the intention the enemy has formed against us. Looking back, I am glad I adhered to the Lord’s instruction, but it wasn’t easy. Though I have yet to entirely understand, the Lord has provided me enough insight and assurance to withstand much of the slander and blatant lies, no longer desiring vindication from myself, and for that, I am truly thankful to God, for He is faithful through and through. When you hear The Spirit speak loud and clear, you will realize there is nothing anyone could say that will sway you from submitting to the wisdom of The Holy Spirit that God provides.

And when one comes to see me, he speaks empty words, while his heart gathers malicious gossip [against me]; When he goes away, he tells it [everywhere]. All who hate me whisper together about me; Against me they devise my hurt [imagining the worst for me], saying, “A wicked thing is poured out upon him and holds him; And when he lies down, he will not rise up again.” Psalm 41:6-8.

2. God Will Remind You How Jesus Can Relate

Some of the most common causes of our hurt are the very same things Jesus experienced while He was here on Earth. Everything from grief, betrayal, frustration, persecution, slander, and anguish, Jesus experienced them all. Jesus felt grief and sadness and even wept when Lazarus died. Jesus even felt frustration when faced with the realities of the lack of faith His disciples had at times. Frustration and anger towards the religious leaders and their perversion with the money lenders in God’s temple. And, of course, the betrayal of His own disciple, Judas Iscariot, when Judas chose to give up Jesus for a bag of coins to feed his personal greed. There really isn’t anything that we will experience in this life that Jesus cannot relate to and empathize with, so who better than He to run to whenever we feel hurt and alone in our pain? If we allow this truth to resonate in our hearts, it can very much strengthen our relationship with Christ Jesus in the midst of our sufferings. Allow this truth to serve the purpose of drawing you closer to The Lord, pouring out your heart to Him, knowing that He understands. Even greater than His ability to empathize is that through Him you will overcome, just as He has overcome the world.

When Mary came [to the place] where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her sobbing, and the Jews who had come with her also sobbing, He was deeply moved in spirit [to the point of anger at the sorrow caused by death] and was troubled, and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. John 11: 32-35

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy];I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.] John 16:33

He made a whip of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; ¹⁶ then to those who sold the doves He said, “Take these things away! Stop making My Father’s house a place of commerce!”¹⁷ His disciples remembered that it is written [in the Scriptures], “Zeal (love, concern) for Your house [and its honor] will consume Me.”John 2:15-17

Then Satan entered Judas, the one called Iscariot, who was one of the twelve [disciples]. And he went away and discussed with the chief priests and officers how he might betray Him and hand Him over to them.Luke 22:2-4.

3. God Will Teach You How To Listen To Him

If any of you lacks wisdom [to guide him through a decision or circumstance], he is to ask of [our benevolent] God, who gives to everyone generously and without rebuke or blame, and it will be given to him. James 1:5.

As we’ve already discussed above, there is no motivation quite like pain and hurt that gets us chasing after God for wisdom, understanding, and comfort. If this is your approach amid pain and suffering, you will notice God has quite a lot to say and an approach He desires us to take. It wasn’t until I found myself in a season of much hurt and pain that I learned just how true this is.

As I ran to God in prayer, He first dealt with me and my sin, bringing to my awareness wrongful thinking and behavior, and certain things I was allowing in my life that were not pleasing to Him that I needed to repent of. This came with the understanding in the Spirit that in order to receive what I would need to get through this, I first had to rid myself of these things. Uprooting anything that was hindering and clouding my judgment and ability to hear Him in fullness. Without hesitation at the moment of revelation, I did exactly that and repented in much sorrow for the ignorance in which I was walking in. The entire time ensuring to stay washed in His word to continually renew my mind and heart. After that, God prompted me to begin fasting so I could bring my flesh under submission and quiet my mind and emotions from all the distractions.

If I regard sin and baseness in my heart [that is, if I know it is there and do nothing about it], The Lord will not hear [me]; But certainly God has heard [me]; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer Nor His lovingkindness from me. Psalm 66: 18-20.

As I began fasting and committing my hours to scripture, prayer, and worship, God added unto me a portion of understanding and encouragement through His word and the Holy Spirit each day. It was as if each day I received a new puzzle piece from the Lord and, over time, a picture emerged. What was previously a prayer journal full of questions and petitions to God rapidly developed into a book of bible verses of answers, spiritual wisdom, and understanding as I recorded each day what God was unveiling to me. I encourage you to seek Him with the same dedication because what you will receive from Him will truly be priceless.

“But [only] with Him are [perfect] wisdom and might; He [alone] has [true] counsel and understanding. Job 12:13.

I can honestly say my relationship with God and with hearing His voice has grown far beyond what I could have imagined. God is so good and as if that wasn’t enough, He also made sure along the way to bring irrefutable confirmation to increase my faith and assurance in hearing Him. Ever so lovingly and encouragingly affirming what was being translated unto me. Beloved, do not underestimate the value of seeking God with the sole purpose of desiring to be led by Him for His Fatherly guidance. You will gain much more from The Father than you ever could from a blog post like this, a YouTube video, or from the people around you. Take advantage of implementing a prayer journal, jotting down your thoughts, questions, feelings, and confusions. Whenever you receive something from the Holy Spirit and wisdom from the scriptures record it in your journal. Just watch how God will conversate with you, giving you wisdom, direction, and answers you’ve been searching for. Our Father is patient with our feeble human condition in trying to hear His voice. God has done many wonderous things in me and in my life but I must admit that nothing can compare to the intimate relationship nurtured through conversing with Him and hearing His voice.

And those who know Your name [who have experienced Your precious mercy] will put their confident trust in You,
For You, O Lord, have not abandoned those who seek You. Psalm 9:10.

I cannot neglect the importance of making sure you are hearing the voice of God. Remember, just because you receive something in a response does not automatically mean it’s the Holy Spirit. Any spiritual force or power can answer back and deceive you into believing you are hearing the Holy Spirit. It’s quite shocking how many people I have personally come across that believe they are hearing something in particular or speaking on the behalf of God. Yet when testing the spirits and the message given it often did not line up with the scriptures or character of God. You will see this a lot in prophecy but it’s equally apparent in situations where a person is seeking to hear the voice of God. Test all things, not just what other people bring to you, just the same test what you receive.

4. God Will Use It To Restore, Rehabilitate, and Grow You

Sometimes it’s necessary to walk through a season of pain and discomfort in order to grow and mature within ourselves and in our relationship with God. Of course, we rather this not be the process but if we’re being honest with ourselves we do the most growing on the other side of hardship and adversity. When we are of a broken and contrite spirit, God can accomplish His greatest works in us. Rather than running from the pain and hurt, I’ve learned it’s much more useful to lean into it while gripping tightly to The Lord. There is no point pretending it’s not there, for we only deceive ourselves and slow down or even miss out altogether on the healing God can provide. Acknowledge the situation you’re in and the emotions you’re having, providing yourself the time to process what you’re experiencing. Weep at the feet of Jesus and allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable, for in it comes great healing. While doing this, remain close to the Lord and grounded in His word, pulling your strength and healing from Him. God will use this time to grow you and heal you from things you probably weren’t even aware you needed healing from. When all is said and done, He will raise you up and you will come out of this hurt standing stronger, being much wiser and restored. The healing implemented by The Lord not only heals pain brought on by outside and external forces but inwardly as well. This is why there must be a humble and teachable spirit dwelling within us because God not only wants to heal you He wants to teach you as well so that you may be wiser as you enter into your next season in life.

You know we call those blessed [happy, spiritually prosperous, favored by God] who were steadfast and endured [difficult circumstances]. You have heard of the patient endurance of Job and you have seen the Lord’s outcome [how He richly blessed Job]. The Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. James 5:11.

If you’re hurting because of the behavior or actions of another person, God will absolutely use your current situation to teach you the art of letting go and letting God. God uses the pain and hurt inflicted by others to teach us what it means to truly forgive someone and how to hand said person over to God along with any pain they may have caused. When someone hurts you Satan wants you to allow it to define you so that it will become a heavy yoke upon your neck. Forgiving the person who hurt you prevents this from happening. Allow God to define you, He will rebuke and reprove the areas that need pruning within you. Remember beloved, God’s ways are higher than ours and He is sovereign in all circumstances. What may appear to be a curse from our perspective may very well be a blessing once we view it from the vantage point of God. Some people are just not beneficial to your walk along this narrow path or the calling God has placed upon your life. God will sometimes allow people to hurt you to bring to your awareness the truth often avoided so that you are required to take a step back to acknowledge the fruit people bring into your life. Consider if this person is sent by God or Satan, does this person regularly oppose and work against the Holy Spirit within you and the direction God has led you in? Is this individual leading you toward sin and unrighteousness? Is this person being drawn to God, or are they rejecting and resisting the Holy Spirit? Does this person desire darkness over light and deception over truth?

As for God, His way is blameless and perfect; The word of the Lord is tested. He is a shield to all those who take refuge and trust in Him. “For who is God, besides the Lord? And who is a rock, besides our God? 2 Samuel 22:32.

But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:15.

Remember, when a person is a part of your life, they never come alone. They are either coming with the Spirit of The Living God within them or a slew of “other” spirits that are hell-bent on destroying you and keeping you from God’s purpose in your life. God is faithful and in my experience, anytime I seek God on the spirits someone is operating in, He always provides insight in due time. If you ask God to reveal any demonic spirits that are regularly gaining access to you through other people, He will lead you to that wisdom. Whenever ungodly spirits are revealed to you through divine revelation and discernment take this knowledge to prayer. Make a practice of binding and loosing, renounce and sever any ungodly covenants you’ve made with them knowingly or unknowingly. Ask The Lord to deliver you from witchcraft and sorcery you’ve come into agreement with through accepting any and all lies, manipulations, and deceptiveness levied against you through this person. Breaking down these powers and strongholds will open your spiritual eyes allowing for an unbiased view and a perspective that aligns with that of God’s.

Though it is hard to deal with being hurt by someone close to you, I do want to encourage you to NOT view the pain inflicted upon you as rejection, but rather as protection and redirection from your Heavenly Father. God is very much long-suffering and patient and He may allow you for a season to remain in friendships and relationships with people so they may be influenced and turn to Him whilst providing you the covering of His grace to do so. However, a time does come when God will decide if it is time to remove you from their presence and influence. God will never call you to risk your salvation or God’s calling for you in order to be a sacrificial lamb for someone else, for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the perfect sacrifice for every person. Especially, in cases when someone has repeatedly rejected the truth, abused God’s grace, or has become a spiritual danger to any of His children. When God removes His grace over people for these reasons, with that He also withdraws the grace He gives others towards that person and this is usually when God will begin the process of removing those people from your life so that He may deal with them. Forgive those who have hurt you, done evil against you, or who have disappointed you. Seek deliverance from The Lord to free you of ungodly soul-ties and trauma bonds. Allow The Potter to take the broken pieces of your shattered heart to form a beautiful and strong vessel of glory for His namesake.

5. God Will Reveal His Involvement And Concern For You

When we’re hurting, no matter the circumstances, it can be extremely difficult to see past our emotions to the bigger picture God may be trying to reveal to us. You may feel as though God isn’t paying attention or aware of what you are going through, but I challenge you to take a different perspective, as God is very much aware of every situation you are in. I have learned often the situations that first appear to be so terrible underneath obtain an answered prayer I’ve been petitioning for. God never leaves us high and dry. The truth is, God warns His children constantly, directing us to notice red flags, but we are often dismissive and ignorant of the warnings He provides us. Rest assured, nothing surprises God. He saw it coming a mile away, and He left warnings for you to take notice of.

Maybe you’ve been deeply hurt and betrayed by someone close to you who you loved and trusted. Though it’s difficult to see past the shock and disappointment you may be feeling, that’s provoking you to ask God, “Why did you let this happen”? Maybe God allowed it to expose to you the intent of a certain situation or individual, along with the truth you’ve been blind to. Maybe this hurtful situation was permitted by God in order to protect you from further pain or something much worse. God will ALWAYS give you the truth even when it isn’t what you want to hear, but that is one of the many things that should bring you comfort and increase your faith in His goodness.

And the Word (Christ) became flesh, and lived among us; and we [actually] saw His glory, glory as belongs to the [One and] only begotten Son of the Father, [the Son who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, who is] full of grace and truth (absolutely free of deception). John 1:14

You are my hiding place; You, Lord, protect me from trouble; You surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance. Selah. Psalm 32:7.

Remember, like I said, NOT rejection, but protection and redirection. Maybe this hurt is the first step to being delivered from something or someone you weren’t even aware was keeping you from living out God’s purpose for your life. The reasons may not be apparent right away, but God will, at the right moment, provide you with an understanding beyond what you can achieve in and of yourself. Sometimes circumstances that provoke us to feel like the rug was pulled out from under us actually reveal just how much God is aware of what we’re going through.

The Lord will never leave you or forsake you. He allowed Daniel to be thrown into the lion’s den, but that wasn’t the end for Daniel. Daniel was never left alone while in that den of lions and he was delivered out of it and God will deliver you just the same from any risk to His will of salvation for you. Trust God in all situations beloved. He is outside of time and space and perceives the intentions in the hearts of others and He sees the elements of the spiritual that are not seen by man. God is very much aware of your present condition and knows exactly what it is you need. I realize it can be challenging, but try to refocus your view of the pain and hurt you are going through to view the bigger picture as God sees it. Trust me when I say I too have conveyed these very words to myself. From personal experience, I can assure you through unwavering faith and obedience, He will deliver you from the hurt to bring forth deep and lasting healing. But it doesn’t end there. He will bless you in numerous areas and in various ways for your obedience and faith in Him.

They will fight against you, but they will not [ultimately] prevail over you, for I am with you [always] to protect you and deliver you, says the Lord. Jeremiah 1:19.

My God has sent His angel and has shut the mouths of the lions so that they have not hurt me, because I was found innocent before Him; and also before you, O king, I have committed no crime. Daniel 6:22.