Controlling Your Tongue: Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

I believe all of us fail to really grasp the power of spoken words. We so easily give ourselves permission to say whatever it is we’re thinking, with no concern for the person on the receiving end of it. Some of us are so self-focused, we are unable to consider if what we’re saying will hurt or heal the person we’re speaking to.

Do you care more about making sure your feelings and thoughts are heard, so you dismiss everyone else’s?  Is there someone in your life whose words are aimed at you like fiery darts of judgment and condemnation? Let’s look at some bible verses about controlling your tongue.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21.

Proverbs 18 tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue. Think about that for just a minute. The words you let slip past your lips can either cause a great deal of hurt or a great deal of healing (life or death). How is it that so many Christians who claim to be followers of Christ can one minute proclaim the gospel and the next minute speak in such an ungodly manner? They are the modern-day Pharisees, and they are all around us. They are in our families, churches, online, and in our social circles. Not only that, but they leave a path of strife and discord in their wake. These people allow themselves to be controlled like a sock puppet in the hands of the evil one. These types of Christians declare their righteousness, yet the fruit they produce is rotten, spoiled, and you can smell its decay from a mile away.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29.

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4.

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them Matthew 15:11.

“With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be”  James 3:9-10.

 Is Your Mouth an Open Grave?

Romans 3 speaks to the unrighteousness of all humans, and it illustrates the wickedness within our hearts responsible for the things we say and do. So if anyone thinks themselves to be an exception to this fact, you would be wrong. This is a clear illustration of how unrighteous we as people truly are, and exactly why it is we need a savior.

“Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Romans 3: 13-18.

Their throats are open graves. Let’s reflect on this line and think about what is being conveyed here. An open grave is full of death and decay, it’s full of disease, and no one wants to be near it. Powerful! When you speak, are the words you say full of life, encouraging, and edifying? When you talk to people, do they leave the conversation feeling lifted? Or are the words you speak to others void of life, only producing discouragement and hurt???

Spoiled Fruit and a Judgmental Spirit

I want you to think of a person you struggle to communicate with. Think about the exchanges you’ve had with them in the past. Have you tried everything, but no matter what, you just can’t seem to have a conversation that ends peacefully? By the end of your discussion, you walk away feeling both offended and angry.

It takes two to argue and allow things to escalate. Your involvement in the outcome may be more significant than you think. When you talk, do your words bear fruit that is spoiled and rotten? Are you “that person” in people’s lives who is always there pointing their finger, standing in judgment, and condemning those around you? Rather than being critical of everyone else, constantly voicing your judgments, pick up a mirror, open the Bible, and examine yourself lest you fall into temptation of unrighteous judgments.

There are Christians who do more bad than good when they cannot discern when to bridle their tongue. This is a major character flaw in many believers. You don’t always have to say what you’re thinking out loud. Give some grace to new believers, be an example, and work in the fruits of the spirit.

Before opening your mouth to talk, consider the fruit your words will produce. Consider if you are even in a position to rightfully speak on such matters without being a hypocrite. If we’re not mindful of the power our words can have over people, we can easily become a conduit for the enemy. We need to ensure that we are more concerned with being led by God than getting our own point across.

Signs of an Unbridled Tongue

Below are a few questions you should ask yourself. Examine your own behavior and habits to see if they resemble the list below. If you believe you are struggling in these areas personally or if a person in your life is, go to God in prayer. Do not allow the enemy to continue to sow seeds of discord through the way you conduct yourself in relationships. Likewise, don’t allow anyone who behaves in these ways to become a stumbling block.

Pray for them, but keep your distance if this type of behavior becomes a pattern.  Something I like to keep in mind when I struggle with controlling my tongue is to speak as if Christ himself was standing in the room. I guarantee a lot of what you thought you wanted to say will all a sudden fall by the wayside. As it should. 

STOP HERE! 

Take a moment to ask God in prayer for correction and instruction in this area of your life. Ask Him to expose any areas where you are operating in an untamable tongue and/or the spirit of gossip and/or judgment. Ask Him to humble you and teach you how to walk in love as He commanded. And most importantly, repent. 

Reflection Questions To Pray On

• Before opening your mouth to speak, do you examine yourself to discern if what you want to say originates from a place of “self” or from a prompting of the Holy Spirit? 

• Are you talking so the other person can hear your point and opinions, or are you delivering the truth of what God’s word says?

• Do the conversations you have with others consist of you talking at people or to people? 

• Do you speak wrongly about people who are not there to defend themselves? Do you bring up someone else’s business before others without that person being there?

• Do you speak on things you have no business speaking on, being led by your own desires to instruct, rather than a prompting from the Holy Spirit? 

• Do you make a habit out of voicing what you think and feel, rather than keeping it to yourself? Discerning whether God is leading you to discuss certain things with someone.

• When you get upset, do you feel terrible afterward for things you said you wished you hadn’t?

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion [is] vain. James 1:26

Reflect on these questions and meditate on the scriptures that stood out to you personally. Go to Part 2 of the “Controlling Your Tongue” series.