Controlling Your Tongue: Part Two – Gossip and Slander

Gossip and Slander

This is Part 2, if you haven’t yet read part one, click here. In part one, we learned about the power of life and death being in the tongue. We also took an in-depth look at the signs of an untamable tongue. Now, I would like for us to look at what the bible says about gossip and slander. And the tactics the enemy uses to trip up believers who do not remain vigilant.

Sometimes Christians are blinded by their intentions to counsel, instruct, and help those around them, but they end up missing the mark completely. Therefore, we need to ensure we are operating in the Holy Spirit. Allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our words as we minister and counsel others.

Saying the right thing at the wrong time or in the wrong spirit could have devastating results. Anyone who cannot bridle their tongue should NOT teach, give advice or counsel others. We must guard our heart from people who lack control.

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to control his whole body.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can guide the whole animal. Consider ships as well. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot is inclined.

In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze. The tongue also is a fire, a world of wickedness among the parts of the body. It pollutes the whole person, sets the course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be! Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree grow olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3: 1-12.

We as Christians should not appoint ourselves to take on the spiritual instruction of others if we are not in control of our own spiritual life. Anytime you are in a position to spiritually instruct others, you better make sure you are being led by the spirit of God. One day you will have to account for all the things you have spoken. Because of this, it is important for believers to spiritually examine themselves. Ensuring that the instruction and teachings we give others consist of ALL of Him (Jesus) and NONE of us. 

Man is unable in and of himself to tame his tongue, but the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit is what enables us to bridle our tongue. 

Proverbs 17:28 

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Proverbs 12:15  

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 18:2 

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 25: 28

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.

Spirit of Gossip

Spiritual warfare is all around us and as Christians, we need to discern the spirits coming against us through people in our lives. Identifying the spirit behind an attack will enable us to target our spiritual warfare prayers directly at the source. How we speak and what we say gives a glimpse into the condition of our heart. What do your words reveal about the condition of your heart and spirit?

The spirit of gossip is behind so much of the strife and discord found in relationships of all kinds. The spirit of gossip has no problem operating through our family, friends, coworkers, and congregations. The spirit of gossip is responsible for so many broken relationships, unforgiveness, and resentment.

We often find this spirit operating in those people who cannot control their tongue. The spirits associated with gossiping influence a person to carry out below-the-belt tactics, through slander and the use of innuendos and indirect remarks. This type of behavior is not of God. No matter how gossip is implemented, what it produces is and always will be rotten and void of life. 

Be Mindful of Stumbling Blocks

Social media platforms, also feed and fuel the spirits associated with gossip, if not careful. These platforms allow a person a glimpse into people’s lives they otherwise wouldn’t have access to. Only furthering this continuous cycle of focusing on everyone but one’s own self. Often times leading to unrighteous judgments or prideful thoughts. Our concerns and examinations should be inward first, focusing on our relationship, or lack thereof, with the Father and our spiritual walk.

What can start with good intentions, if not careful, can become an open door to gossip, slander, covetousness, and unrighteous judgments? The focus it requires to be overly involved in another person’s life should be spent focusing on Christ. 

Characteristics and Tactics of Gossip 

Consider the spirit of gossip as the end product that is produced when the spirits of slander, backbiting, and manipulation band together working for one common goal, which is to cause disharmony, hostility, and unforgiveness. Here is a list of the commonly used tactics and characteristics to recognize this spirit at work.

• Slander– a falsely spoken statement about someone that damages their reputation: a verb to cause damage to a person’s reputation by lying.

• Backbiting– rude and cruel words that are said about someone who is not there to defend themselves.

• Manipulation– Unfairly or dishonestly controlling someone to your own advantage, intending to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, dishonest or underhanded tactics

• Judgmental– Apt to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: expressing an attitude in which judges’ other people’s conduct. Reminder: there is righteous judgment and unrighteous judgment.

• Perfectionism- A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

• Stubborn/Inflexible -Refusal to change one’s mind or course of action; unyielding or persistent:

• Unforgiving– Not willing to forgive; unmerciful

• Narcissism– A state in which one interprets and views everything in relation to oneself and not to other people or things.

Prideful Pharisee

We all get carried away sometimes, and that’s a part of being in our sinful flesh, in a fallen world. There is, however, a difference between slipping up and operating in an unclean spirit. If you judge things by their fruit, you will be able to discern by the Holy Spirit if it is of God or not.

Remember, no one is perfect likewise, no one has reached perfection to think they no longer need correction or rebuke. Don’t be like the prideful Pharisee in Luke 18, haughty and in unrighteous judgment of someone else (a tax collector), when he should have been examining himself.

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector in Luke 18:9-14.

To some who trusted in their own righteousness and viewed others with contempt, he also told this parable:

Two men went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like the other men—swindlers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and pay tithes of all that I acquire.

But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man, rather than the Pharisee, went home justified.

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.Matthew 23:12

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

Grounded In Humility

We say things we don’t mean. Sometimes we take advantage of the opportunity to say exactly what we think without holding back. Either way, the person on the receiving end is getting hurt by our inability to bridle our tongue. This does not lead anyone towards bettering themselves or their walk with God.

Don’t speak death into a person’s life and then expect that person to grow and thrive. You can claim you are walking in love as Jesus commanded, but your fruits will expose the true condition of your heart and the words you speak will bear witness against you.

Remember, you are not Christ; you are not the judge; you do not hold the power to forgive sin, nor can you change a person’s heart. It may very well be that God’s will for a person is the exact opposite of what you think it should be. So you have to be sure you are relaying God’s word and not our own. It doesn’t matter what I think or what you think, only God’s view matters. God’s ways are higher than our ways, we can never know what He has in store for someone unless revealed by the Holy Spirit or through His word.

A prideful man that doesn’t know his place, wrongfully exalts himself above others. Before long, that man in his pride is no longer being led by the Holy Spirit. The man has now become a hindrance to the work of the Holy Spirit while being deceived into thinking he is spiritually sound, worthy of leading others, and so on. Sounds to me a lot like the false teachers in the mega churches.

Brothers and sisters, let us not fall into the trap that many other Christians have fallen into. 

“If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen”. 1 John 4:20