Christ-Centered Marriage and Mornings

Abiding In A Christ-Centered Marriage

If you’re anything like me, the start of your day is really important. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. So if I am running late or rushed awake and out the door, my entire day will be a flop. I need structure and routine in the mornings to help keep me from being overwhelmed by all the things that lie ahead of me that day.

Since my husband has come back from prison, our mornings look very different from how they once were. Because of my husband’s situation I am the one who drives and as of now, I am completely okay with that because after a handful of nasty accidents, I’d rather be the one doing the driving. Nowadays I get up every morning with my husband and drive him to work. Because of this, both me and my husband have unintentionally noticed the benefits that come along with starting your mornings together. 

I understand not everyone is in a situation to drive to work with their spouse. Don’t miss the big picture. I want this post to encourage you to implement something new into your daily routine that focuses on coming together as husband and wife at the start of each day. Putting aside time every day to make it a priority. Here’s what I learned after one year of driving my husband to work every morning and sometimes on weekends.

Starting The Day With Your Spouse

Marriage is a team effort, if you don’t put forth any effort into your marriage you cannot truly appreciate what you have with your partner. Don’t allow lack of effort to make you miss out on the potential each of you has in each other’s lives. There is something to be said about joining as a team at the start of each morning to come into agreement. I have discovered this act alone of waking up together has been a lifesaver. Getting up together at the same time has saved us on those days when we just can’t seem to get out of bed. It helps to do what seems daunting when you have your best friend right there with you. Both sharing in the sometimes difficult task of getting up and moving. 

 I don’t know if it’s a combo of poor sleep and this recent winter weather or just true exhaustion, either way I have had a few tough mornings recently, struggling to get out of bed and get moving. Whenever this happens to either myself or my husband, whichever one of us isn’t struggling, that person takes over the morning chores to remove pressure off of the other person. Approaching the day together, like teammates, having each other’s back.

Likewise, there has been and will be times when both of you are warring to get up and move. Me and my husband will lay in bed half awake, fighting off the sleepy haze, by naming off all the reasons we need to be getting up. Various responsibilities, work, traffic on the way to work, you get the jist. Anything to remind us of all the reasons we fight daily. We remind each other that it feels much worse to stay in bed in the long run than it does to get up and just go. After a few minutes one, if not both of us will get up and move.

Christ-Centered Marriage and Mornings

Another benefit to starting your mornings with your spouse is the opportunity to spend time in the word and prayer together. This is the most significant benefit out of them all. I realize some of you are already thinking ‘‘I don’t have time to do this in the mornings”. I know, I know, none of us really have time in the mornings. Stop overthinking and over complicating it. If you implement any word of advice from this post, let it be this; put aside time every morning to get into the word and into prayer together as husband and wife.

If this means you have to wake up an extra hour early, do it, because the benefits will overshadow the fatigue you may experience until your body gets used to waking up earlier. Sometimes you have to make a choice to deny what your flesh desires, in this case staying in bed for more sleep. Denying yourself what you want in order to put God and your marriage first will be far more impactful than you think. 

Remember, Satan will do whatever he can to keep you and your husband from standing as a united front. The enemy’s goal is to divide and conquer you and your spouse. Satan takes a special interest in ensuring marriages don’t become strong Christ-centered marriages. He will flood your mind with all the reasons you shouldn’t get up earlier to spend time with God. All the more reason to wake up and do this every morning.

Me and my husband wake up at various times, but we’re usually out the door before the sun comes up. We may get up at 4:00am one day and the following day wake up at 5:30am, you get the idea. However, whatever time we decide to wake up, we make sure that we have enough time to be in the word together and pray together. Even if this means praying on the fly, while driving down the highway and byways.

Keep It Simple

We are all guilty of overcomplicating things. To avoid this, it’s best to keep it simple at first, as your adjusting to your new morning routine. The neat thing about the word of God is that it’s living. You can read the same chapter 10 times and 8 of those times you will discover a completely new revelation from the Holy Spirit. Figure out what works for you and your spouse. Me and my husband like take turns reading from the bible, discussing what we read together and we always close out the sesh with morning prayer, taking turns to pray out loud together.

There are many reasons I love making this a part of our morning routine. There is something special about joining closely, like-minded, seeking the face of God. I believe many marriages can be saved from divorce by inviting God into the marriage, making Him priority number one. If you want a Christ-centered marriage, you have to first know Christ. Only until you experience the love of Christ can you better understand how to love your spouse in the way Christ loves His bride, the church. Many wives say they will do whatever it takes to save their marriage, but words are just words after all. Only through real-life application can we experience God’s movement in our lives. Failure to do so would be selling yourself and your marriage short.

Remember, even if your husband isn’t interested in doing any of this, you should do this. Husbands same goes for you. Spouses need to be diligent in prayer for each other, as they are one-half of a whole. Do not doubt for a second what God can do, only He can transform the heart of man. I’ve witnessed it within my marriage and have seen it in other marriages too; a wife fervently praying for her husband to come to the Lord whilst being an example, drawing him to Christ.

God can take a man who was altogether disinterested at the thought of bible and prayer, and raise him up to be the man who is leading his family in scripture every morning and drawing them spiritually closer to God. A Christ-centered marriage doesn’t happen overnight. But if you are earnestly seeking God, putting Him first and brining your marriage under obedience to Christ, you will see the beautiful work of God in your spouse’s heart. And it truly is a lovely thing to witness.

Getting Armored Up

Soon as we pop open our eyelids in the morning, the battle has begun. Sometimes the battle actually starts before we wake up, sleepless nights, night terrors and other forms of sleep deprivation are all tactics the enemy uses to break you down. So let’s not kid ourselves, we need to be spiritually equipped to war in the spirit against our spiritual enemies. Just like no soldier would go to war without his weapons of warfare, we too have to be supplied for the day ahead and the battles to come. 

If I start my day off half-cocked, rolling out of bed to the annoying buzzing sound of my alarm; taking care of my physical needs, but paying no mind to my spiritual health, I would have a terrible and tough day without a doubt. I don’t know about you, but if I can sidestep a bad day, I will avoid it like the plague. Not that hard or bad days won’t come along because they will, however, it’s about avoiding unnecessary bad outings.

The enemy is always looking for a way into your day to bring about destruction. He’s studying you and your husband to see if you are armored up. Even if he sees you standing in armor, he very much has the audacity to examine you for any kinks or openings or weak spots in your armor. Since the battle is real and the stakes are high every morning, we need to replenish our spiritual strength by edifying our spirit. I like to think of this part of our morning routine as the “pregame pep talk”. Think of it like this, you and your spouse are players on the same team. So, before you venture out into the game (your day), it’s crucial you first speak to your coach (God) to receive your pregame pep talk.

Open up the Bible, where you and your partner will find your game plan. The word always points us to God’s will for our lives so we know what he desires for us on any given day. With this in mind, me and my husband like to target our prayers at any areas we need help in. We also like to pray about the takeaway message of whichever scriptures God leads us to that morning.

Appreciate The Work Of Your Hands

Since I drive my husband to work, I get to witness the ongoing process of his work. By the way, my husband is a professional painter. He paints homes getting flipped and for anyone who needs to hire a professional to paint for them. My husband’s job is to take what is damaged and transform it into something new. When my husband is transforming a home, he says it constantly reminds him of God’s transformative works in us. And I couldn’t agree more. 

When I pick my husband back up at the end of the day, I get to see and appreciate the work he’s done for that day. I see the home he is working on at its very worst at the beginning, but as time goes by a completely new-looking home begins to take form. I try to go into the homes he is working on to peek in when all is said and done and the job is completed. Doing this allows me to see his work at its finest and appreciate it all the more. Sometimes when I pull up to the home he is working at earlier than expected, I get to observe my husband in the zone. Each time that happens I think to myself, ‘I am so thankful and so proud seeing how far he has come’. All glory to God.

For The Wife Reading This

As wives, we need to encourage our husbands, being aware of the pressures they face as the head of the household. Men are undergoing a very real spiritual war that is doing all it can to tear men down, to prevent them from rising up in their spiritual authority and taking leadership over their home. Wives we should not be working against our husbands in this area. Rather, wives should uplift and encourage their husbands. We should strive to be that constant source of God’s word throughout the day.

Whether or not you like it, that is the role that God has assigned to wives. This is surely not your only role ladies, so don’t get all worked up. But in regards to your responsibilities as a wife, however, this should be priority. A Christ-centered marriage starts with both parties taking up their appointed roles. In doing this, we are allowing God to work rather than hindering it.

Many marriages suffer because the spiritual leadership of the home is in rebellion to God’s. This is a topic that requires attention in and of itself. As God prompts me, I will cover these things. But for the sake of this post, I’ll just dip a toe. If you want your marriage to improve and to bear the work of the Lord, you need to be in obedience to how God has arranged the order of marriage. To put it plainly, wives step back and don’t impede God’s work in calling your husband to step up as the spiritual head of the household. You can however be a prayerful partner to them as they battle as the head.

It appears God has given us women the skill of noticing details and small things men often overlook. Take that naturally given ability and use it to discern the things spiritually coming against your husband and family. If you and your husband bring your home and marriage into spiritual order, you will remove what is hindering you from a Christ-centered marriage. 

If you surely believe that our God is sovereign and works out everything for the good of those who love him, then you’d be right to believe that same God has appointed the family unit in this way for a reason. Do not fight against a holy God. 

Bottom Line

There is strength in marriages that are not simply Christ-centered but also in submission to the family hierarchy God has ordained. God has set forth for me and my husband to ride to work together every day. For you and your marriage, it may look different, but the bottom line remains unchanging. Put aside time to come together for the Lord. Invite Him into your day and into your marriage. Stand firm in the roles God has given to you. Be a prayerful spouse and work in partnership to bring your marriage into alignment with God.